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Get your shtuff together people

Driving into my daughter’s elementary school parking lot for the morning drop off has become a frustrating event for me. The reason – people do not know what the correct procedure is - or they just don't give a crap. Either way, it also takes longer than it should, it can be unsafe for the kids and frustrating for everyone.

This procedure is so basic – so fundamental – it is just like breathing. That’s why I suppose no one took the time to draw it up and train everyone on it. Well that all ends today folks! So here you go - the proper procedure for elementary school drop off.


Let's start off with Figure 1.

1. Vehicles begin at the entrance point of the school parking lot.

2. Vehicles “A”, “B”, & “C” proceed to the designated drop off station.

3. Children exit the vehicles quickly and safely.

4. Vehicles “D”, “E”, & “F” wait until “A”, “B”, & “C” exit the drop off station.


Figure 2 shows the next steps in the procedure.

5. Vehicles “D”, “E”, & “F” proceed to the designated drop off station.

6. Children exit the vehicle quickly and safely.

7. Vehicles “G”, “H”, & “I” enter the school parking lot and wait until vehicles “D”, “E”, & “F” exit the drop off station.

This process continues until all of the children have been safely unloaded.

Simple, right? Not so fast!


Let’s look at figure 3 to see how this procedure is actually carried out every morning at my daughter’s school.

1. Vehicles begin at the entrance point of the parking lot.

2. Vehicles “A”, “B”, & “C” proceed to the designated drop off station.

3. The mom in vehicle “A” begins to fix her makeup while talking on her cell phone. Her children do not exit quickly from the vehicle

4. The dad in vehicle “H” is in a “hurry” and decides his life is way more important than everyone else in line so he flies to the front where his kids exit unsafely from sides of his white Chevy Suburban. Then he speeds out through the exit ignoring everyone he passes.

5. The grandpa in vehicle “I” sees what the dad in vehicle “H” is doing and there is no way on God’s green earth he is going to be outdone by this idiot. So, he flies up behind vehicle “H” where his grandchildren exit his blue minivan unsafely between two cars that are in the correct drop off station.

6. The mom in vehicle “A” now has her makeup fixed and her children have exited the vehicle but she cannot exit because the grandpa in vehicle “I” just cut her off so she honks her horn at him.

7. The mom in vehicle “G” is also in a hurry so she cuts off the mom in vehicle “C” whose response to the mom in vehicle “G” is flipping her the bird.

8. The dad in vehicle “E” pulls ahead of vehicle “D” & “F” because it just seems like the right thing to do.

9. The mom in vehicle “C” is still upset at the mom in vehicle “G” and pulls ahead so she can’t get in.

10. Vehicle “B” isn’t moving at all because that mom totally missed the huge parking lot to the left and decided to park her vehicle in the middle drop off station because it was "closer" to the building. She is long gone escorting her children to class. No one knows when or if she will return.


Come on people!! Get your shtuff together!!

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